This time I wasn’t going to tell anyone that I was having contraction-like pains. Not like the two other times I (according to my husband) ‘cried wolf’. As I sat on the couch, in our (freezing) lounge in only my t-shirt and underwear, anxiety hit me like a tidal wave, captivating me with each contraction. This is it! I’m going to have this baby tonight!! Doubt still swirled around in my mind; “Are these really contractions though. They’re only 2 minutes apart. Aren’t they supposed to start off at 20, or 10?”
A water birth is something I wanted to experience with my first born already, but opted for the medicated, hospital route instead. I still regret that choice, to this day. Hey, at least I have a beautiful, healthy and lively child, regardless of the way she came into this world. Screaming. She came into this world screaming.
My Doula told me that she would meet me at Genesis clinic, just in case I was ready for birth. Man, I seriously hoped this wasn’t another false alarm! Wait! Zoey. She’s asleep. And I need to pack her bag for my mom! My toothbrush.. I can’t go to Genesis in my slippers either. Ugh, where is the hair brush. Thank the Lord for a ready husband! With Zoey in the car, her blanky and bottle, we (excitedly and nervously) rushed to my parent’s house to drop her off. As we handed over my precious first born, and promised them that Paul will let them know once Hannah-Jean is born, I started crying inside. Like a winner does. So I’ve heard.
As we get to Genesis Clinic, Paul gets out the car to help me, and all I’m thinking about is “where is Mariska?” I need my doula. As calm as I was, I was just as nervous. What if this was another false alarm? Nope. I was 4 cm dilated already, and 2 minutes apart in contractions. Yay! Mariska left to go light the candles in the room, and run the bath. Shucks! This is it!
Throughout the entire experience, I felt God’s peace. Not once was I scared, or worried of any complications. Just peace, and excitement. I remember talking to Paul, Mariska (my doula) and Connie (my midwife) with ease. I tried to listen to their jokes, but strughled to laugh.
It was time to go up to my room. Oh boy! Did Paul remember to bring my juice? I need to stay hydrated. Wait! Another contraction as we walked. Man… Finally, we get to the room lit with candles, so peaceful and welcoming. The laptop is set with the playlist, and I see my juice. He remembered.
Mariska encouraged me to lean forward with each contraction (which was now 1 minute apart) to help with the pain. Best! The pain starts getting worse, and I find myself not listening to the conversation anymore. I’m focusing on the picture on the wall of waves crashing on the rocks. Cape town. How I miss the ocean. This hurts so bad! But still, the presence of the Lord is so tangeble, and peace has overwhelmed me. Carrying me.
Mariska says it’s time to get into the bath now. Thank the Lord! I need some pain relief. And that painting of the ocean has stirred the urge for water even more. I took a sip of my juice, put on my birthing bra and got into the water.
Nothing can prepare you for that need to push! Nothing! He contractions were seconds apart now, and I told Mariska and Connie that I need to push. It hurts! I look for Paul to come stand next to me. I need his hand. I need to know that we are in this together. The pressure was immense, almost like I could literally feel Hannah-Jean’s head. That painting is still there, and I keep my focus on it. The ocean beating against the rocks as I maintain focus on pushing with the contraction.
Paul (I don’t know why he thought it was an appropriate time) asked me which song I wanted to be played as I gave birth. He didn’t know that I told the Lord that I wanted a specific song to be played, with a specific meaning. Miraculously, as I was pushing, the song started playing.
“Just one more push, Eulene. You can do it. Her head is out!” What? Only her head? It felt like I had already pushed half her body, nevermind just her head. Ah! The contraction came, and with the motivation of holding my second little girl soon, I pushed with all of my might! Ugly push face and all, our Hannah-Jean came out in full glory. The presence of the Lord was so tangible, my love for my daughter struck me in awe and I literally just cried “My baby! My baby!”. As soon as she was on my chest, all pain was forgotten. The contractions and pushing-like feeling was gone. My beautiful little girl was in my arms! Hannah-Jean, you’re home. She was absolutely stunning beyond compare, blue and all. Our baby.
After holding her for a while, engulfed in God’s presence, my first thought was “I want my Zoey to be here.” My heart ached for my first born. I wanted her to share this beauty with us.
Hannah-Jean was born at 01:48 after we arrived at Genesis at 11:50. Her dad and I couldn’t sleep. She is beautiful! Paul left to go get us some food, and once he returned, we ate our sandwiches (exhaustively), staring at this beautiful human, fresh out of heaven. We are blessed with another healthy, gorgeous daughter. Praise the Lord!
I couldn’t wait until 9am for Zoey to arrive with my folks. I wanted to hold her, smell her hair and not let her go! My firstborn. My other heartbeat, before this extra heartbeat. Oh, how I love them both more than anything. Each with a deep, clingy love. The same love I have for Zoey, is the love she showed when she held her little baby sister for the first time that morning. Passionate! Besties.
Paul, Hannah-Jean and I left Genesis Clinic that afternoon and became a family richer in love, fuller in joy and blessed beyond comprehension. A birthing experience filled with peace, and God’s promise fulfilled, that has changed my heart for the better.
The song that was played as Hannah-Jean was born is ‘Your Glory by All Sons and Daughters’. It was such a glorious birth, and the lyrics declare a prophecy over her life.
Listen to the song in the background as you look through the photo’s.
Re-published with permission: marriedandmommied.wordpress.com